It's an age-old dating dilemma: How do you go about getting to know someone over the phone? You can't see if he's cute, and you're not having one of those "he sounds so hot" IM chats (although that would make things a lot easier). You need to talk on the phone before meeting for a date. But what do you ask to get it going? Mary Jo Rapini , licensed clinical social worker and relationship expert for dating site Match.com suggests starting out with some light questions to be sure there is chemistry. For example, if your match says he likes to read, ask him what his favorite book is, or Why Why Love by Ceceliahern --just don't forget to pay attention to his answers. "A lot of dating is about interpretation, not necessarily your words but how you feel when you are with this person," Rapini said. "When I talk to people on the phone for a dating service, they usually have already met online and have been having email conversations for some time. They really want to meet -- so their guard is up." It's important to know if there is chemistry before meeting in person, according to Dr. Michelle Golland , clinical psychologist and matchmaker at dating site It's Just Lunch . So start out slow by asking simple questions that elicit short responses — it will give you an idea whether or not there seems to be interest on both ends. Things like: What was your favorite subject in school? Do you enjoy reading? If you had to pick one thing that bothers you about dating, what would it be? You can also ask questions that give him a chance to talk about himself, which is always an attractive quality. He'll feel like the conversation is focused on him , so he won't have any reason to get defensive. Some good ones are: What do you think the best part of dating/being single is? If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be ? While these casual questions are great for starting out, sometimes they need some spicing up. Mix things up with some open-ended questions that require more just a yes or no response. Instead of asking what your date is most excited about at the moment, ask what he finds most exciting in life. And instead of asking how his weekend was, ask him to tell you a story about his best or worst dating experience. "Open-ended questions are more interesting because they allow room for conversation," Golland said. "They require people to think and put together their thoughts before speaking." If there seems like there is good connection over the phone, Rapini said it would be okay to meet after one or two conversations—if she still likes him . However, if you're thinking 'uhh let's not,' but dating gurus and relationship experts who say that it's crucial to wait until you talk on the phone at least three times. "You can tell a lot about somebody by simply talking on the phone," said dating and relationship expert Karenna Alexander . "If you get a good vibe from him, meet up in a public place for coffee." The goal is to figure out if you click with this person . If there isn't much connection when speaking over the phone, then it's best to cut your losses before meeting face-to-face—just in case he didn't seem that attractive in his profile picture. But if the conversation starts going well, don't forget to ask some dating etiquette questions . Golland suggests asking what dating protocols are most important to your match: Does he think it's okay if both parties go Dutch? Does he think it's important to pay for each date? When does he plan on getting physical (if you aren't already)? If there isn't any chemistry on the phone, be honest and say goodbye. "When somebody doesn't feel a connection when speaking on the phone, it usually doesn't get better," Golland said. "You don't want someone to commit emotional suicide by coming face-to-face with somebody who is not interested in dating them." After three conversations, if there still seems like no chemistry—break things off gently and move on . It's terrible dating etiquette to keep chatting people up if you're just wasting their time; we have dating sites that are of willing participants just dying to chat with you. "If you're dating somebody who really doesn't have any interest in dating you, just cut things off," Golland said. "Don't string them along for appearances." This may seem like dating overkill, but trust me -- this will save you major headaches down the road if he turns out to be a dud on the phone! Later on, when you meet him for your first date, if he asks how you knew that he wasn't right for you.. well l let's just say it may be good to have some dating etiquette points up your sleeve Length: 400-500 words (with +/- 10% allowance) Links to outside sources: n/a Notes and Assets: Article body [in your own words]: A phone conversation is the first step to dating, not a relationship. While it can be nerve wrecking to meet up with someone after chatting for only a few minutes, dating experts say there are reasons why you should get on the phone before meeting face-to-face. Asking dating etiquette questions indicate that you are at least making an effort to see if there is any chemistry or connection between the two of you. You may even want to consider having three conversations before deciding whether or not there is enough of a connection to meet in person...However,