Your dating history might convince you the opposite of your ex is true love, but research suggests opposites aren't as sexy as they seem. "It is very common to be attracted to the wrong type of person," says Dr. Terri Orbuch , author and psychologist who's conducted 13 years of research on 373 married couples and followed up with them annually for 18 years. "Typically this happens because you are fascinated with people who aren't like you." Don't worry—you're not destined to marry yourself just because you've dated a string of similar-looking men (or women). But studies surrounding relationship longevity indicate that you're more likely to be happy with someone who shares your values and attitudes. "You want someone who has the same level of interest in things that are important to you," says Jennifer Bevan , dating coach and owner of Love at First Flight dating service. "The more interests you share, the less likely you are to get bored with each other." You don't want someone who's carbon copy, but finding common ground is crucial. And if you're not sure what your deal breakers are, take this quiz . It will narrow down your interests based on your dating history. On a first date or when getting to know someone new, avoid asking questions that reveal how different you are—like "How do you feel about abortion?" or "What did you think of Obama's speech last night?" Instead, talk about shared experiences like concerts you've been to, places you've traveled or sports you like. "It's about relating through what you have in common," says Bevan. "The dating process is about learning somebody else's comfort zone." If not engaging conversationally isn't your dating struggle, check out the 5 dating mistakes that could be ruining your love life . Hooking up with someone because he (or she) is hot and mysterious might seem like a good idea at first, but after a few dates that person will likely become real—and their faults will become more apparent. If it turns out they don't share your values and interests, there's no reason to waste any more time on them. Please do distribute this article freely to your readers. It's ok to use the article as long as you: - link back to this page (the more, the better) and don't change any part of it (without permission from me); - include the author name and a working link back to this site; - don't sell or host it on an ezine or website that sells dating courses / products . Thank you! Terri D. Orbuch, PhD is a Professor at Oakland University (Michigan). Her research focuses on marriage and divorce trends in the United States, with special interests in remarriage after divorce or death of a spouse. She received her Ph.D. from Michigan State and completed postdoctoral training at the University of Texas-Houston. In addition to her research, Orbuch has been a consultant to dating sites and has served as an expert witness in dating-related legal cases. She has published over 100 research articles. Her dating advice column, "Ask Dr. Terri," which appeared in newspapers throughout Michigan (1996–2006) and online (1998-present day), was recognized in 2003 by the National Newspaper Association with a first place award in the category of best local feature column. She is also author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship (Simon & Schuster). Dr. Bevan is an international dating coach, speaker, dating expert for IAC 's Christian Mingle , founder of Love at First Flight dating service , SheKnows dating expert, member of the MillionaireMatch dating council, bestselling co-author on Match .com's blog , and go-to dating expert for dating sites. She is also co-author of the bestseller He's Just Not Your Type (And That's A Good Thing) . Dr. Terri D. Orbuch, Ph.D., at Oakland University in Michigan talks about dating and relationships to the Detroit Free Press . Her research focuses on marriage and dating trends in America with special interests in remarriage after divorce or death of a spouse, dating online , young adults dating , couples communication styles, same-sex dating , and more! Please post your comments here by scrolling down below the article picture; thank you! For entertainment purposes only - no warranty (expressed or implied). Please send bug reports to wp AT datingwisdom DOT com. You may reproduce this article for your personal use, but if you do so please give datingwisdom.com credit either at the top of the article or by hyperlink, and please email a copy of your publication to wp AT datingwisdom DOT com with the link and reprint privilege request. Thank you! Terri D. Orbuch, PhD is a Professor at Oakland University (Michigan). Her research focuses on marriage and divorce trends in the United States, with special interests in remarriage after divorce or death of a spouse. She received her Ph.D. from Michigan State and completed postdoctoral training at the University of Texas-Houston Please note how this paragraph does not state that Dr Bevan is an international dating coach and dating expert for Millionaire Match dating council as well as dating expert for dating sites; it is important to note that Terri Orbuch's activities do not include any of those things. Please do distribute this article freely to your readers. It's ok to use the article as long as you: - link back to this page (the more, the better) and don't change any part of it (without permission from me); - include the author name and a working link back to this site; - don't sell or host it on an ezine or website that sells dating courses / products . Thank you! Terri D. Orbuch, PhD is a Professor at Oakland University (Michigan). Her research